This guy bore the brunt of my melancholic attitude that day, however that being said…..it was a piss poor song, sung to a piss poor recording device:
“Whacked this bad boy down on the phone whilst in rehearsal!”
Sadly you can…
I’ve had a lump on my neck for over two weeks now, I’m pretty sure the end is nigh…..as such, I’m going out “Falling Down” style!
At least twice a week I bump into a guy in the toilets at work, he’s usually urinating, nothing special, but he has AMAZING hair. He clearly knows this to, as when he’s finished at the urinal (and it normally takes a while as he likes to make sure the room is empty) he’ll turn around, head over to the sinks, wash his hands and then admire his waves upon waves of conditioned hair in the hanging mirrors. He will spend at most (I’ve timed him) 4 minutes just flicking through his hair…….changing nothing.
He’s dressed smartly, he wears headphones which I presume are connected to his phone playing inspiration speeches by Eugène Schueller, he has a mid-slung record bag which spills over with legal documents.
I know all of this as I have previously hidden in a cubical just to study him.
To say I want to be this man is an understatement……
I want to touch this pregnant woman’s stomach so badly i also understand how handsy strangers must be the most annoying thing for pregnant women YOU ARE A VESSEL OF LIFE LET ME FEEL YOU
My life has got to the point where I could pretty much sit on toilets all day and be far more productive. Waste management…..